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Slider: Destructive vs. Constructive
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Don't Quit
Don't Quit
1 collapsed result
Consider quitting
Consider quitting
For a minute
For a minute
For a day
For a day
For a week
For a week
Forever
Forever
no
no
yes
yes
1 collapsed result
Is it Constructive?
Is it Constructive?
Constructive forms of conflict can be difficult, but they do not destroy trust.
1 collapsed result
trust is being built
trust is being built
upward spiraling
upward spiraling
bad feelings will go away soon after conflict
bad feelings will go away soon after conflict
having more or equal/steady respect for person as conflict continues
having more or equal/steady respect for person as conflict continues
good or neutral for [authentic] self-concept
good or neutral for [authentic] self-concept
communication will continue as normal after conflict
communication will continue as normal after conflict
person is giving you permission to continue
person is giving you permission to continue
(implicitly or explicitly)
1 collapsed result
part of or reinforcing an established pattern of "positive" interaction 
part of or reinforcing an established pattern of "positive" interaction 
on your part, their part, or as an interaction effect (e.g., ADDING to trust)
can be attractive/incentivizing
can be attractive/incentivizing
1 collapsed result
Is it Destructive?
Is it Destructive?
Destructive forms of conflict can be difficult, and they do destroy trust.
1 collapsed result
trust is being destroyed
trust is being destroyed
downward spiraling
downward spiraling
bad feelings likely will remain long after conflict
bad feelings likely will remain long after conflict
having less respect for person as conflict continues
having less respect for person as conflict continues
bad for [authentic] self-concept
bad for [authentic] self-concept
(but don't use triggering or feelings to create confirmation bias)
conflict may break all communication
conflict may break all communication
person is not giving you permission to continue
person is not giving you permission to continue
(implicitly or explicitly)
1 collapsed result
part of or reinforcing an established pattern of "abusive" interaction 
part of or reinforcing an established pattern of "abusive" interaction 
on your part, their part, or as an interaction effect
can be addictive
can be addictive

When to know when to quit

When to know when to quit

We all sometimes wonder "when to quit?" When should we end it?

In this case "it" is a general term that could be a lot of things: a job, a conversation, a relationship, a situation, whatever. 

"Quit" can also be thought generally to mean, "quit for a few minutes until things settle down a bit," "take a break for a few days," or "that's it, its over, forever."

Sometimes its helpful to use this simple litmus test: Is this destructive or constructive?

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